As I’m sitting here being idle with my thoughts. I start thinking about this military life and all that it brings. Just like anything there’s always up and downs, but lately I just wonder if anyone ever gets numb to this type of life. There’s no rhyme or reason to this, but simply just emptying my mind and writing everything out.
My husband works on a submarine and it’s a norm for him to be gone or underway for the better part of every year. There’s plenty alone time, you’re essentially a married woman living a single life.
Dinner for one.
Endless good-byes and see you when I see you.
Spending more time with friends than I do my husband.
Answering the many questions of, “where’s your husband at”
or “is he traveling with you?”
Things just getting darn right lonely.
It’s not done with just deployments; there’s still plenty of sea time between deployments.
We don’t have any children, but I can’t even imagine what it would be like to constantly tell your child where their father is.
For me, I eventually get numb to it all or it doesn’t phase me that much anymore is a better way to describe it.
And to be honest, I have no idea if that’s a good or bad thing.
Or even when someone tells me that I’m so strong for dealing with this? Am I? I don’t know.
All I know is that I love my husband and would do anything for him. I support him 100% and just want him to be happy with every aspect of his life. And he does and wants the same for me. All the bad/tough parts of living the military life is all worth it in the end because of who will always be there when those bad/tough moments are done. Isn’t that enough? To be honest, it probably isn’t for a lot of people. But it is for me, I rather have my husband in any way that I can than not at all. Where emails become our lifeline for communication, facebook messaging during port calls, or even a short phone call to revise our magical wishlist.
To the outside perspective, this seems crappy to deal with. I’m ok with it. That’s my life and it has become my new norm since we’ve been together. Like I mentioned earlier, it just doesn’t phase me anymore.
You just do it.